Tonight's Deep Thoughts

A few things I need to say:

1) This past weekend a 28 year old lawyer at my firm died of a heart attack. Completely unexpected and totally unexplained (at least for now, until the autopsy is final). He was an active guy, not obese, and seemed perfectly healthy. I didn't really know him, but some of my friends had worked with him on deals. It was just shocking to everyone, I think, to realize that life is so fragile. And I think I forget that too sometimes, even though as a CFer I obviously deal with the reality of illness a little more than some. But the fact of the matter is that it doesn't take a mutated gene or a diagnosed illness - sometimes shit just happens.

2) As if #1 weren't enough of a wake-up call, today a friend of mine mentioned during a pretty casual conversation that his little brother (like way little - elementary or middle school) has kidney problems and could well need a transplant at some point in his life. Details weren't offered and I didn't pry, but it was a good reminder that you never know what someone else (or their family) is facing. And again, you'd think I would understand that by now, because people can't tell I'm sick just by looking or talking to me either. But the fact of the matter is sometimes I do forget, sometimes I feel convinced that no one else around me is going through anything nearly as big as some of the challenges CF gives me, and quite frankly, that's total BS on my part. I'm glad to have the reminder, but I do wish it could have come through happier means.

3) Ever since my exciting near-miss from the hospital a couple of weeks ago, I've been feeling amazingly healthy and also just pretty high on life. I'd forgotten how that really felt, to be honest. Not that I was ever miserable, or even really unhappy, but I guess this is the first time in a long while that I haven't felt overwhelmed. And that's freeing in a way, because it lets me focus on some of the amazing things I have in my life that I might otherwise lose track of amid things like PA infections and transplant evals. I know that part of this feeling is the joy of finally (for once!) beating an infection without resorting to IVs, but I also think it has a lot to do with the fact that over the past few months I've connected with a group of cystics and their loved ones that has given me TONS of support and advice and generally kept me sane...because honestly my friends here in NYC are unbelievable, but they can't really tell me what to do when my sats go down the toilet. So I wanted to take a second to say thank you to all the CF2chat forum members. They are so amazing - all cystics and their families should check it out! (Shameless plug)

That's all. Just wanted to get those things off my chest.