Okay, so I tried really hard to make the whole "if I don't tell anyone I'm back from Turkey then I won't actually have to BE back from Turkey" theory work. I mean, I tried really, really hard. Because we all know that if you don't blog it, it doesn't happen, right? Maybe? Pretty please?
Alright fine, I'm home. Actually I got back on the 10th, so I've been home for a while. And I know that officially makes me, like, the worst blogger ever, but I swear I haven't just been sitting around the house neglecting you guys. In fact, I've made some major changes:
1) I left my job.
Yep, no joke, I finally bit the bullet and admitted that being on call 24/7 in a high-stress law firm isn't the best career choice for me at this point in my life, despite the fact that I love it. So I took disability, but not before I lined up a volunteer position 3 days a week for 5 hours a day at a great non-profit, where I can use my legal skills and hopefully develop some new talents and actually work for a cause I believe in. It was a really hard change, but I'm not second guessing my decision. It was time, and this is right, and I'm actually kind of proud of myself for taking the initiative and finding a new way to stay challenged and occupied that still gives me the time and schedule I need to take care of my health. Okay, okay, enough tooting my own horn, but I have to feel positive about this on some level, or else it just comes down to the fact that I left a job I love. Not that I'm trying to be a Pollyanna about the whole thing, but it's as good a transition as I could have hoped for. Stay tuned for more updates and possible new developments . . . because you can never have too many graduate degrees!
2) I am due to be officially listed for transplant in mid August, after we cover a couple more bumps in the road.
Not much to say about that right now, but it's a little overwhelming. Some of my doctors have theorized that I could be transplanted pretty quickly b/c of my height, so that's kind of crazy. New lungs by Christmas, anyone?
3) I'm back on IVs for the 5th time in 2009, as if to validate the above decisions.
Yeah, I know, these infections are out of control. Believe me, you're preaching to the choir here! I came back from Turkey after all that fun and exercise with fevers and a cruddy sounding left lung, so it was time to go back on. The good news is that I'm doing it all from home, and although my fevers haven't entirely gone away yet, I still feel better than I did when I first got back. The other big development here is that I've made my peace (as much as I can or ever will, I'm sure) with the fact that these continued infections aren't caused by something I'm doing "wrong." And believe it or not, that's actually a scary concept for me, because I'd love to believe that there's something I'm just missing somehow that would be a quick fix. But there's not, or if there is I can't keep killing myself mentally trying to figure it out right now, so I'm just going to keep pushing back as hard as I can. And try and cut myself a little slack.
4) Speaking of quick fixes, remember all those weird symptoms and heart arrhythmias I was having before Turkey (and to some extent during Turkey, and after Turkey)? Well, drumroll please . . .
Yeah, potassium. As in, that stuff in bananas. As in, an electrolyte that CFers are naturally prone to get a little low on from time to time. And this was apparently my time. Big time.
I'm in the process of getting the stuff back up to normal right now, taking these GIGANTIC pills to supplement the potassium in my diet and eating so many bananas there's a real danger of a shortage in lower Manhattan. (Sidenote: you know when a CFer calls the pills huge that they are truly HUGE. I swallow 6 MT-20s with every meal no problem and I can barely take one of these things without gagging. I kid you not.)
And that's about all the change I can handle writing about right now, although it is not (surprisingly) a complete list of everything going on in my life right now. Then again, if I could fit a complete list of my life into a single blog entry I'd probably be pretty boring. And I promise to be back soon with some more updates and maybe even some pics from Turkey if I can get around to uploading them all. I promise they're worth waiting for though, particularly the one of my mom and the spitting camel.
In the meantime, I suggest everyone out there eat a banana. Or five.
- I am a 33-year-old wife, sister, daughter, friend, law school graduate, CFer, lifelong student of public service, blog writer, patient, Sagittarius, reader, Top chef fan, double-lung transplant recipient (twice!), and dog owner living in Colorado's beautiful Mile High City. I love all things colorful, funny, inspiring, or needlessly sarcastic. I share my city with about 2,500,000 other remarkable people, share my disease with 70,000 other beautiful souls, share my life with some unbelievable family and friends, and share my apartment with one very handsome guy and one really fat mutt with a kick-butt personality. We make it work.
About This Blog:
This blog is about me, my life, my sometimes craziness, my disease, and my current journey as a double-lung transplant recipient. It's also a celebration of everyone out there with CF (and other chronic illnesses). It's for you, inspired by you, and dedicated to you -- the community that keeps me writing, living, and breathing.
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